• Option

    I know it'll be better if I leave it soon
    Cause I know my self better

    It's not my option although it's my life
    I don't choice, I'm just step on it
    It's not my world although I use time here
    I am just zombie, my true self on the body

    I know what I can do
    I understand what I have
    Just give me a chance
    After that, you will meet my true self.

    I like not have sadness
    Not have worry
    Cause I know it may not something for my future
    It is just 'stray way'

    You can see I smile
    You can see I still laugh
    Cause I know what I'll do later
    Bring my true self out

    It's not about this way
    Not the step that I have had
    It's about the true way, real me
    It's not here

    I am not regret or sad
    You think I am so worse
    You think I am just time waster
    I just seek my true self
    I am on my body

    Note :

    The words like

    "Later, you will bla bla bla"

    " You can use your S1 research to get S2, S3, bla bla bla, just continue"

    Ok,
    It's annoying. So annoying o_O.

    I know you give me advices or suggests, but I think it is not like that.

    My mind always out of mind.

    I watched movie 'Kambing Jantan'. I think, if I could say something like drop out (in the end of movie, Raditya Dika said to her parents that he don't like to learn financing, he said "Financing is not my option, is it?, it's mom option"). 

    Back to,

    I said, "I am not have skill in that area".

    I said it, repeat and repeat.

    I hate when I must repeat how much I dont like here. How fool I am.

    I show you how fool I am!

    " You're in the final semester, a little bit again"

    A little bit again? 4 years I must keep my self. Just a little bit I think I'm free if I don't hear some people said, "You can continue S2, that area still seldom in some universities, there are opportunities for you after graduate"

    How long I must continue something that I dont like?
    It'll be better if you do what you said to me.

    " When do you graduate?"

    I feel I fall to the deepest area. The questions always I hear since last year.

    If I said, maybe I will never graduate, how is your reaction?.